THE FUTURE OF SINGULARITY

8/22/05 | Press Release for G-Simpod.

G-Simpod represents cohesion between the simputer (of the imaginary [eastern] borders and similar to the $100 laptop concept), and the latest in ipod technology (of the imaginary borders to the [west]). The G- signifies none other than God, the only way man could conceive of perfection, hence the only place that the idea of the perfect product could come from. In prototype form, G-Simpod was referred to as the “God Substitute”. It is, first and foremost, the solution to warring. It has succeeded in eliminating religious differences, by transforming the intangible (perfection) into the tangible. With the help of this product, some Simpodders even escape from the mental and physical realm of store-space and enjoy “free zones” or the land.

The G-simpod has two emergency keys. These keys can be freely engaged - as much or as little as the user needs. One button literally emits a heat that travels from the user's hand and touches the body’s triad – the brain, heart, and erogenous zones. This key should be enjoyed and explored, especially in mall-space or store-space. It will fill the user with a sense of happiness and self-worth that derails his or her thoughts to enter into buying-mode.

The second emergency key completes the perfection of the product. It provides sustenance when sustenance can’t be found, in a more literal way. For example, if you have been traveling and haven’t eaten in a while, a dose of electrodes containing the highly active molecules P-57 that directly influences the hypothalamus, the part of the brain that controls satiation, allows you to believe you have just eaten. It works by imitating the effect that glucose has on nerve cells in the brain, which is to fool the body into thinking it is full even when it is not, thus curbing your appetite. Most often, though, the G-Simpod acts as an old-fashioned computer/communicator and a music/video player. The cacophonous sound and brilliant graphic quality both allow the user to keep a safe distance from others, while fully engaging in the virtu-real community abound.

The G-Simpod has come at a time when the illusion of choice has become such an illusion, that everything is actually the same. To keep ourselves from going into a different store and re-buying a newer version of the same item, we have brought to you the G-Simpod, in an old-fashioned, open-source platform hardware that embodies everything at once. Anything one might need in the realm of entertainment, fantasy, friendship, love, education, eternal time, eternal sustenance, eternal fulfillment. The G-Simpod sells itself.

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